


The Beetle and the Reluctant Bard

by argo1993



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2019-06-28 11:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15706602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argo1993/pseuds/argo1993
Summary: Hermione is at university , and finds herself in the classroom of one woman she had hoped to never see in any form ever again.





	1. The Pendragon University for the Development of Exceptional Witches and Wizards

Hermione was loving University. The Pendragon University for the Development of Exceptional Witches and Wizards was, unlike its name suggests, actually a very laid back place to be, made up of about 500 witches and wizards who were usually invited upon completion of their last school year. After the war, Hermione, Harry and the Weasleys retreated into the new (but exactly the same) Burrow for months, slowly learning to exist again, hiding from the press, happy that in that house they didn’t have to explain anything to anyone, and things could gain a semblance of normal. However, slowly, one by one, everyone got called away. Mr Weasley got called back to work, once a full ministry was reinstated. George had to go back to his shop, and to help Diagon Alley rebuild. Harry and Ron received word, after a respectful amount of time was deemed to have passed by whomever in the ministry was in charge of such things, that they were needed immediately to help the Aurors, and training would, rather unusually, be given on the job. The boys understandably went to work the next day, and afterwards were only in the Burrow for a few hours each night. Soon, Mrs Weasley, Ginny, and Hermione herself were the only ones left rattling around the large house. Hermione spent her time curled up at her desk in Ron’s room, that she’d levitated up the rickety staircase, shouting ‘PIVOT’ at Ron who was helping keep it steady at the top. He, of course, didn’t get the joke. Hermione was surprised it came out of her mouth at all, and halfway through trying to explain Ross and Rachel’s whole relationship to Ron (who agreed they were on a break), Hermione was reminded painfully about her parents, still out in Australia with no memory of her or them as a family. She had initially decided to leave it a while, after the war had ended, before bringing them back, because Europe was still not a safe place to be. But as time had gone on, it had turned into pure cowardice that she hadn’t faced them. When the letter from Pendragon University came one day in the beginning of Autumn, Hermione new she had to do something. So she went, and brought them back, and after both her parents had recovered from the side along apparating, they cried. She moved straight back into her childhood bedroom, and they went back to making each other cups of tea, and laughing at Radio Four. Leaving the Burrow was hard, but under strict instructions to come back at least once a week for dinner wether Ron was there or not, she found herself standing in the fireplace, waving at a crying Mrs Weasley and a slightly dejected looking Ginny, before being wisked off to her parents home.

And now here she was, lying under a tree like she had done so many times at Hogwarts, watching all the other students walking across the Pendragon West Quad, excited to be starting her second year classes that afternoon. First year had flown by, with so much to be learnt and so many new people to learn from, as well having to find time to see her parents, Harry, the Weasleys and not to mention Ron. She had spent the summer with Ron, at Bill and Fleurs house. They stayed in the attic, and talked for days on end. She loved him, she was sure of it. But she was glad she had gotten to see him so much over the summer, because term time was for studying. He would have to wait.   
For the first time in her life Hermione was realising that learning, being an academic, was actually a profession. One could continually learn, and get paid for it! Still, she didn’t want to squander the opportunities offered to her in the here and now so as well as her classes in her core subject, history, she was trying to take a wide range of secondary subjects. As many as the school would allow her and she could fit in. So it came about that Hermione’s first lecture of her second year would be, strangely, journalism. Hermione knew in her heart of hearts that she would never be a journalist, but the process and the ethics still fascinated her, as many things did. For instance, that awful Skeeter woman. What were her ethics? Was what she did legal? Where were the loopholes in the law? And were those loopholes necessary in order to ensure freedom of the press? The fact she was taking a class in something so… unacademic didn’t fail to amuse her though. She wondered what the Lecturer would be like. They say that in the arts, those who can’t, teach. Hermione scolded herself for being so horrible, even inwardly so. 

‘Ready to go?’  
Hermione whipped her head ‘round, startled. Katy Bell, whom Hermione had, in the beginning of first year, hazarded a gentle friendship with, was crouched down behind her, looking at her with a soft smile. Hermione smiled back.  
‘Lead the way!’ Hermione replied, in a gung-ho fashion, and she stood up, her bag knocking Katie off balance and sending her flying forwards. Hermione looked down, laughing at the sight of her friend lying on her back at Hermione’s feet, looking disgruntled.   
‘How’s the weather down there?’ Hermione said, reaching out a hand to help the other up.   
‘Not as good as the view,’ Katie replied, smiling and looking awfully pleased with having seen up Hermione’s skirt. Hermione pushed Katie, on purpose this time, but she only rocked a little.  
‘Piss off, we’re gonna be late’, Hermione said, walking away, not in the slightest bothered about anything that had just happened. With Katie, she had learned, flirting was in her nature, and to be honest, she liked it. Ron tried flirting with her once and Hermione still remembered it to this day. It didn’t bare thinking about. 

Katie caught up with Hermione quickly, which was good, because upon encountering the first staircase in the building Hermione realised there was a reason she’d told Katie to lead the way. She had no idea where the Stevenson Lecture Theatre was, she only knew it was in this building because it was on a sign post out on the quad. They made it to the theatre with five minutes to spare, and to Hermione’s delight the front row was mostly empty. She dragged Katie along the row until they were directly in the middle, and took her pencil tin and notebook out of her bag, aligning them on the bench. She was ready. Since the lecturer was still not in the room, she did what the rest of the busy class was doing and started chatting. She was still busy ranting on about how Ron had come over to her parent’s house for dinner the night before and had left without saying thank you, when the voices around her fell to a hush. Katie nudged her and pointed her head towards the door. Hermione turned her head to see what was going on, and in what seemed like slow motion she watched as the one person in the world she could honestly say she hated sashayed towards the lectern, placing her armful of papers down. 

Rita. Fucking. Skeeter.


	2. The Spanish Inquisition

Hermione heard Katie suppress a laugh, and she glared at her, trying to hide her face from the front with a hand. Katie obviously found this more than she could handle, though, and she snorted loudly, before burying her head in her arms. Rita Skeeter snapped her head up at the ugly noise and her eyes landed quickly on a girl with her head buried in her arms, gently convulsing, and another girl with smooth, shoulder length brown hair who was, rather suspiciously, hiding her face behind a hand and trying to sink into the seat. She glanced at the attendance list she’d just picked up from the department office and scanned down the list. ‘BELL, Katie,’ sounded vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t place it. A few names under that, however, she found what she suspected she might. ‘GRANGER, Hermione’. 

Rita hummed to herself and tapped her wand to her painted lips.   
‘Good morning, all,’ she said, loudly, and a murmured greeting met her in reply from the students.   
She flicked her wand at the board and the chalk started her name on the board.   
‘My name is Rita Skeeter. I doubt I’ll remember any of yours. But luckily the department gave me this handy list so I don’t have to.’  
She waved the bit of paper in the air, and a chuckle rippled around the room. She started reading out names, to shouts of ‘here!’, or just a grunt, in reply. Katie Bell, it turned out, was the girl sitting next to Granger, and was that girl who was foolish enough to pick up a necklace in a pub bathroom, then refused to be interviewed for Life and Lies. She’d taken her head out of her arms now and had revealed herself to be good looking, with a smirk playing on her lips as she said ‘here’. Rita came to the end of her list, and set a pile of papers flying around the room, giving each student various lists and information. While the students were busy reading what she’d just passed out she watched Granger. She had now taken her hand away from her face, and was confusedly looking through what looked to be her timetables. She had missed the girls name off of the register on purpose, and she knew it was cruel but the girl’s confusion was proving to be delightfully entertaining. 

‘Miss Granger, is something amis?’ Rita asked, while the chalk started writing on the board again. Hermione whipped her head up, looking like like a startled deer. What’s that muggle thing with the baby deer, Rita thought. Bambi? At least Bambi had an excuse, being an actual child. Granger must be twenty by now. She looks...passable, though. She’s finally done something about that hair and managed to straighten it.  
Hermione internally groaned. The Skeeter woman was staring at her with amused eyes.   
‘ I wasn’t on the register, Professor’. She replied, perhaps a little heavy on the snark. A few of the other students looked at her, confused.   
Rita quirked an eyebrow. She picked up the paper, and said ‘here you are,’ all without breaking eye contact with the girl. Hermione frowned, and rolled her eyes at Katie the minute Skeeter turned her attention back to the class.   
‘It isn’t funny, she’s legitimately a terrible person!’ Hermione muttered under her breath.   
‘At least she’s hot,’ Katie replied. ‘And that can forgive a person a lot’.  
‘Your morals are questionable,’ Hermione finished, as she put her head down and got to taking notes. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

‘So tell me again about that time she was your captive and completely at your mercy,’ Katie said, wiggling her eyebrows and looking pleased with herself. Hermione shoved Katie and made an apologetic face at Ron, who was looking nonplussed anyway. They were sitting in a pub just outside campus, and Ron was looking tired after spending the whole day testifying in court against some straggler Death Eaters he had a hand in catching. Hermione was in a foul mood, due to having to see that woman again, but Katie was on fine form, apparently delighted that she’d finally found something to wind Hermione up about.   
‘She is hot though, you have to admit. You agree, right, Ron’.  
Ron spluttered into his pint.   
‘Well… I mean…’. He wiped the beer off his chin. ‘She was horrible to Harry!’  
‘And me!’ Hermione said, incredulously, shoving Ron, too.   
‘That’s abuse,I’d say,’ Katie said.   
‘For sure,’ Ron replied, rubbing his shoulder.   
Hermione pulled a face.   
‘Look, the point is, she’s entirely A-moral, and has no appreciation of the concept of ‘fact’ or ‘truth. And she made us miserable!’.   
‘And you kidnapped her, blackmailed her, then exploited her.’ Katie finished.   
‘And you didn’t even sleep with her!’ Katie added, as an afterthought. She slammed her empty glass down as if to say ‘I rest my case’, and was about to tell Ron to go up to the bar and get more when she caught sight of Hermione, who was scratching her neck and staring pointedly up at the ceiling, her face a hot pink.   
Ron got up and went to the bar anyway, since he just finished his pint and the conversation seemed to have ended, leaving Katie gawping at Hermione.

‘YOUSLEPTWITHHERYOUDIDDIDNTYOU!’ Katie squealed all at once. Hermione clapped her hand over Katie’s mouth, looking mortified.   
‘Shhhhh! No, I didn’t! I would never,’ Hermione whispered.   
‘I.Don’t. Believe. You.’   
‘Honestly, I didn't! She’s like 30 years older than me. And a woman!’   
‘And?’ Katie pressed.   
‘I mean, she might have asked, but I didn’t. I would never.’  
‘RITAFUCKINGSKEETERCAMEONTOYOUANDYOUNEVERTOLDME?!?!?!’ Katie squealed again.  
‘SHHHH!!!!! I don’t know, I mean maybe. It seemed that way at the time.’ Hermione said, looking uncomfortable.  
‘Tell me all.’  
Hermione looked over to where Ron was still trying to get the attention of the barman. She started speaking so quickly and quietly that Katie had to lean in to even hope to hear.   
‘Well, immediately after the war, I was in Diagon Alley with George to maybe try to help him put some spells around the place to deter thieves, until everyone could get their businesses back in order, and she was there snooping around, kicking items with her feet. I mean, who wears heels to a literal bomb site? Anyway, long story short I was angry and tired and when I saw her I lost the plot so I stormed right over to her, and began to tell her how disrespectful she was being, and she sort of looked me up and down and came up super close to me until I could feel her breath on my neck and told me that I’d been very brave but I look terrible, and she could make me feel better,’ Hermione reeled off. She tried very hard to make it sound like she was struggling to remember what had happened, to cover up the fact that she remembered it only too well. For some time after she replayed it in her head over and over, and still did often to this day. She could still feel the breath on her neck, could still smell the journalist, feel her heat.   
Hermione could feel breath on her neck, and it made her shiver. She turned her head, and Katie’s face was just millimetres away from hers. And she looked nothing short of delighted.   
‘Anyway, I kind of ran away and I’m presuming that was what she was after, because she kept looking around the alley, and I just left her to it,’ Hermione concluded. Katie sat back.   
‘That’s just excellent,’ was all Katie said, and Ron arrived back with three pints between his hands. Hermione gave Katie a warning look, then gave Ron a weak smile. Ron sat down next to her and she snuggled into his side, trying to ground herself. She thought she saw Katie roll her eyes, but didn’t care. She had what she wanted right here. Right?


	3. Luna's Quoting Madonna Now?

The next week of classes passed without a hitch, and on Friday evening Hermione flumped down on her sofa, confident she was up to date with everything. Well, one could always do more reading, but there was a line. And anyway, she had a headache. Ron was at work, and there was nothing on the TV (an object of great interest to Mr Weasley), but last week’s Quibbler was sitting on the coffee table still unread, so she dragged it over. Luna had set them up with a subscription when she and Ron moved in together, and to be honest she mostly used it to line the food recycling.  
The front page was showed a niffler being used to sniff out some kind of furious looking pixie type creature. She flicked through absentmindedly, reading a first line here, a strange advert there. She arrived at the last page, and groaned out loud. 

**_4 Minutes to Save the World  
A Mugglish Interview with … Rita Skeeter_ **

**_Animal, vegetable, or mineral?_ **  
_Animal, for sure._

**_You’re a journalist. True or False?_ **  
_What? Erm, true?_

**_Tell us how you became a serious journalist, after a pretty terrible few years there._ **  
_I’m not sure I should dignify that with an answer, Miss Lovegood._

**_Truth or Dare ?_ **  
_Pardon?_

**_Would you rather have to tell the truth to any question I ask, or do anything I ask?_ **  
_Are you coming on to me, Miss Lovegood? Alright, truth._

**_What’s your biggest regret?_ **  
_Agreeing to this interview, obviously. Oh okay, I’ll give a ‘proper’ answer. My biggest regret is … ever visiting Hogwarts._

**_Why?_ **  
_Is this another muggle thing? Asking overly personal questions?_

**_Finally, a little sprite told me that you’ve taken up a teaching position at Pendragon University. How did this come about?_ **  
_Ah, yes! Well, after being the only journalist brave enough to report the return of Voldemort, at the risk of being ridiculed, and as the biographer of Dumbledore and, soon, Harry Potter... they thought the students would have a lot to learn from me. And who was I to disagree?_

**_Well, we here at The Quibbler think Pendragon is lucky to have you._ **  
_Naturally._

**_Join us next week for a mugglish interview with Linda Xenia!_ **

 

Hermione read it twice, and threw the magazine into the hallway. Then she promptly got up to retrieve it and took it the the kitchen, to keep staring at while she made a cup of tea. Like Luna would come on to her. Hermione snorted, derisively. She knew that spiteful wasn’t a good look on her, but what else could she feel right now? ‘The only journalist brave enough to report the return of Voldemort’. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! She had had to blackmail Skeeter into doing that, and even then it was touch and go! AND she’s about to publish a book on Harry! That can’t happen! He doesn’t deserve that! Hermione was ranting at an empty kitchen, and would have killed to have someone there to rant at. Harry, or Ron. Someone who would agree with her anyhow.  
Knowing she was not in any frame of mind to make a major decision but doing it anyway, Hermione resolved to make a plan to show Skeeter as the fraud she was to the whole University. 

And she had just the idea.


	4. I Was There Too!

Hermione's second journalism lecture was rather uneventful. Everytime Skeeter posed an open ended question Katie would shove Hermione's knee in an attempt to make her answer, but Hermione managed to not snap at Katie to make her stop. She needed Katie on side if she was going to convince her to join what Hermione considered to be one of the most ingenious plans ever conceived, even if she did say so herself.

After classes Hermione dragged Katie to the pub again, ignoring all protests.   
'I need your help,' Hermione said upon returing from the bar to their table with a pint in each hand. She sat down, and placed one pint infront of Katie, who thanked her.   
'That's always been painfully evident to me,' Katie replied.  
Hermione rolled her eyes. 'You're hilarious. Seriously though, I do need your help'.  
'What with?' Katie leaned forward in her seat a little, looking interested.   
'That fucking woman'. Hermione's sneered into her drink.   
'Woah Herm, calm down. What did she do now? Tease you about your obsession with your timetable again?'   
'She's writing a book about Harry!'   
'Ah. Well, maybe it won't be that bad? Maybe she's found some integrity?' Katie offered, finding the situation slightly less funny, but just as rediculous.   
'Integrity? This is the woman who thought that locking herself in a broom closet with a fourteen year old child to ask him about his dead parents was nothing to be ashamed of!' Hermione was shouting by now, but realised it and put her face in her hands for a moment.   
'I just think that....' Hermione started to reason, but she was cut off when she caught sight of a person she didn't think she knew hovering a foot or two away from their table, looking unsure about something.   
'Can we help you with something?' Hermione snapped, earning a scornful look from Katie.   
The girl being addressed was blonde, pretty, and around the same age as Katie and Hermione. She looked both horrified and delighted when Hermione spoke to her, and stuttered her reply.   
' Are you Hermione Granger?' the blonde finally managed to get out.   
Hermione sighed, and tried smiling.   
'Yep, that's me. In the agonising flesh'.  
Katie shot a look at her again, but the girl seemed oblivious to the sarcasm.   
'ohmygodsomeonetoldmeyoucameherebutididntbelievethemthisissofuckingamazing'.   
Hermione narrowed her eyes, her smile slipping slightly for a second.   
'What's your name?' Hermione asked.   
'Anna' the girl replied quickly, then she stood with her lips pressed together in anticipation of Hermione had no idea what.   
'Anna. Well I'm Hermione and this is Katie, it's very nice to meet you. I' m sure we'll see you around throughout the year. At least, I hope I will,' Hermione finished with a lopsided smile and a wink.   
Katie looked a bit like she'd just seen a dog give an oratorical thesis, but Anna did not notice, she was too busy going bright red and rambling about what she was studying and where she hung around and who she was friends with and many other things. Hermione stood up, brushing past Anna and said she was gonna go get more drinks, but she looked forward to meeting again, and with a touch to Anna's elbow she was gone.   
Katie looked at Anna, and Anna looked at her.  
'I was once cursed by a death eater. And I fought in the Battle of Hogwarts.', Katie said, just to see what would happen. Anna sneered, looked Katie up and down and sauntered off back to her group of friends, who were whooping at her as she sat down.   
Katie shrugged and drained the last of her drink. A few minutes later Hermione slunk back, drinks in tow. She sank into her chair, looking irritated.   
'She left the minute you did. I wasn't hero enough for her, it would seem,' Katie said, teasingly. 'It must be hard to be so loved. Of course, it doesn't help if you keep pandering to them like that. Doesn't Ron mind?'   
Hermione rolled her eyes again, and Katie vaguely wondered how she didn't get eye strain.   
'I just wanted to get rid of her. Anyway, it's not me she likes, it's my name. And no, it wouldn't even occur to Ron to be jealous. AS I WAS SAYING, I need your help with something'.  
Katie smirked. 'Okay, I'm listening'.


End file.
